I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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