ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sober January is a disaster.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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