no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
