Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize