He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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