Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
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