Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
