she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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