i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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