He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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