Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
