pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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