Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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