So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
