I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
