similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
