Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
