PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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