Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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