Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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