I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize