im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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