Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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