That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
