My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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