i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
