We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
