just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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