I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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