Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
