Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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