Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Randomize
