i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
