I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
