I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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