i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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