what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
