I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize