Do vagina's smell?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
