yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
