i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
