Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
