his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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