i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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