my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
be right there i have to get my cape
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
