Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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