i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
