I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
