I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
