u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
