someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
