The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
