I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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