That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize