I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
