Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
