I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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