dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
