dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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