You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
