we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
