he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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