I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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