i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
